Was It Self Harm Or Something Else? Looking Back At My Childhood Skin Picking

I look back sometimes and remember something I never questioned. Those evenings where I would sit and pick at the tops of my arms. Squeezing spots. Pulling at scabs. Going back to the same places until they stung. I would do the same to my forehead. Tiny marks. Tiny wounds I made with my own fingers.

I must have been about twelve, maybe thirteen or fourteen. Old enough to feel embarrassed. Young enough to not understand why I kept picking my skin.

My mum used to tell me to push my fringe back. Not just push it back, but hold it there with a head band. She said the air needed to get to it so it could heal. But walking into school like that felt awful. My forehead felt completely exposed. I could feel my face burning before anyone even looked at me. She knew I was ashamed. I knew she knew.

And sometimes I wonder now. Did she believe that embarrassment would make me stop? Did she think that if I felt watched, I would finally control something I did not yet understand? Did she realise how small and visible that made me feel?

It never helped. It only made me shrink deeper into myself.

At the time I told myself it was nothing. Just a habit. Just something I did. But now I look back and wonder. Was this self harm? Was this early skin picking a sign of stress or anxiety that I did not have the language for yet? Was I coping in the only way I could?

Skin Picking In Childhood And Teen Years

I understand now that many children and teens develop behaviours that look small on the surface but have a deeper emotional story underneath. Skin picking is more common than people realise. Some call it a coping behaviour. Some call it a nervous habit. Some know it as dermatillomania.

Whatever name it has, the truth is gentle and complicated. It can be a release. A moment of control. A physical way of managing feelings that feel too big or too confusing.

For many young people, skin picking is not about appearance at all. It is about overwhelm. It is about anxiety that does not know where to go. It is about a body trying to soothe itself when no one has shown it how.

Was It Self Harm Or A Survival Strategy?

When I look back now, I do not see a child trying to hurt herself. I see a child trying to cope.

I see a child trying to survive something she could not say out loud.

Many people who ask, 'Is skin picking self harm?' Are really asking something deeper. Was I struggling more than anyone realised? Was this my way of asking for help? Was this the only place I felt any control?

And the truth is this, sometimes our bodies tell the story long before our minds feel safe enough to speak it. Sometimes small behaviours are the only clues to bigger feelings. Sometimes it is not self harm in the way we imagine it, but it is still a sign of a child trying to comfort herself in the absence of comfort.

If You Have A Similar Story

If you grew up picking your skin, squeezing spots until they hurt, or hiding your arms or your forehead because of marks, you are not alone.

Many adults look back and realise that these tiny behaviours were early coping strategies for stress, anxiety, shame, or emotional neglect.

It does not mean you were broken. It does not mean you were doing something wrong. It means you were doing the best you could with what you had.

Rebecca Bloom